Grace and Grit

It has been just over 3 years since my last post here. During this perceived hiatus I had begun writing 4 separate reflections that I just could not seem to finish. They were titled: Forgiveness, Plans Preparation & Purpose, The One About Compassion, and First Steps. I attributed the delay to busyness, lack of motivation, and writer's block, but I don't think those things were actually the cause. I have been going through an emotional and spiritual valley recently. What I mean by valley is that God had orchestrated certain circumstances, relationships, and experiences in my life to come together in a way that brought me to a low or difficult place. I have experienced valleys in my life before and they were always times when God felt far away and I was questioning His goodness and purpose for me as well as resisting the growth He was trying to bring about in my relationship with Him. However painful or difficult these valleys of the past were, I learned from experience ...

This season at the shelter has been quite full. We've had a house full of non-typical and difficult cases that have required more from me as a manager than I have ever experienced before. Challenge, although not often sought, is something that God uses to bring me to a place of more dependence on Him. This is definitely true for me this past year. I have transferred houses within the Sheepfold ministry and it has taken much longer to adjust than I thought it would. Every home has its idiosyncrasies so it's been fun and stretching adjusting to new families, coworkers, commute, neighborhood, etc. If I could sum up these past 8 months into a few words I would say: Change brings lots of opportunity to practice fully relying on God...not putting my trust or joy in a person, circumstances, or state of mind. I know this is a really short post and that it doesn't really contain any interesting or useful info. It was just time to start blogging again. God is good. He is showing ...

The following is from one of my moms. It's always better when you can hear their story in their own words rather than mine.  The face of every mother and child is imprinted on my heart, including this one.  These stories continue long after they leave the "sheltered life."  Although not every woman that enters our shelter leaves with her life in order and her kids healthy and happy, it is good to remember that each of them experienced Love while they were with us. That is my purpose: Love God, Love People. By the way, I'm ok with spending my whole life perfecting that pursuit.  <3 “A new command  I give you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.   By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” - John 13:34-35 ________________________________________________ When I was asked to write about what led me to The Sheepfold my mind started cycling through old memories. I began ...

Ironically, a couple weeks after my last post " Goodbyes ," I experienced my most difficult goodbye yet. The grief knocked me off my feet and onto my knees crying out to God. My heart is still aching from it. Sometimes the process of letting go and allowing God to mend a broken heart can take awhile...especially because I have a tendency to work over the past in my mind as if I can change history. Silly Me. I don't really feel like relaying the events of the last goodbye. Maybe at a later date it will come up, but not yet. Forgive me? In the mean time I am re-reading my last post because I need the reminder that God is the mender of all things broken. A little while ago two of our moms made us a beautiful scrapbook that they filled with pictures of them and their children as well as notes of things they were grateful for. It is so precious to each of my fellow house managers, especially after an emotionally difficult week. I am going to share with you one of the note...

WARNING: This post is for my Christian readers. You may be offended, angered, sobered, convicted, or indifferent. My hope is that, whatever your initial reaction, you will see yourself for what you are and what you would be if not for the grace of God (and by you I mean WE). Specks of dirt, beautiful wretches, and scandalous grace. One day a young woman entered a church... Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke doesn't it? Let's call her Grace... Grace had a lot of baggage. In her 30-ish years of life she had already experienced more pain, loss, abuse, and numbness than she knew what to do with. Her abuse began when she was a young child at the hands of her father, uncle, and brother. Each of them were responsible for stripping away her innocence, dignity, and hope. After years of unimaginable torment that became her daily reality she met a man. This man was better than any of the men she had ever known or loved. He could take her away ...

...Many of you who know me know that for the past 15 years I've been interested in working with at-risk populations. I felt especially drawn to juvenile delinquents, foster children, and grieving children who've lost an immediate family member. I had many opportunities to volunteer within these groups; Comfort Zone Camp, AWANA, OC Youth Guidance Center, Juvenile Hall, Babysitting, Character First, Rancho Santa Marta Orphanage, YUGO Zapata, Guatemala City, Bernal, Mexico City, Singapore... to name a few of the memorable ones. :-) Yet for all the volunteer opportunities I still felt like I was missing out on something! I wanted more and I wanted it full-time. Although I had a full-time job that was challenging I looked forward to my volunteer night and weekend jobs to carry me through the everyday 9-5. I do not regret my time spent in a cubicle, especially now that it seems it's already been ages ago! But it was disappointing to search and search for a full-time job in my ...