Grace and Grit

Okay okay, I said when I started this blog that it would not be one of those projects that turns into a place to post pictures of food, offering nothing but someone elses' recipes (with a personal twist or two thrown in). However, my last post was a heavy one and this is a merry month so I'm going to post something just for fun! The sun has set and the fog is starting to come out at the shelter. The little ones have settled themselves in the living room with their moms and are enjoying Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. The house is (mostly) decorated, trees and interior lights are up, hot apple cider is ready, and a big pot of chowder is on the stove simmering. This is a recipe of my mom's that we enjoyed growing up. But of all the rich soups, stews, and chowders we used to eat this was actually my least favorite. It grew on me though and now I love it! If you're in the mood for something rich and hearty you should try this! Fish Chowder 4 cups water 2 lbs

WARNING: This post is for my Christian readers. You may be offended, angered, sobered, convicted, or indifferent. My hope is that, whatever your initial reaction, you will see yourself for what you are and what you would be if not for the grace of God (and by you I mean WE). Specks of dirt, beautiful wretches, and scandalous grace. One day a young woman entered a church... Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke doesn't it? Let's call her Grace... Grace had a lot of baggage. In her 30-ish years of life she had already experienced more pain, loss, abuse, and numbness than she knew what to do with. Her abuse began when she was a young child at the hands of her father, uncle, and brother. Each of them were responsible for stripping away her innocence, dignity, and hope. After years of unimaginable torment that became her daily reality she met a man. This man was better than any of the men she had ever known or loved. He could take her away from the men in her family and

Today marks the anniversary of Grace and Grit's first blog post ( you can read it here ). In some ways it is hard for me to accept a year has passed already, but in other ways I feel like I've been a shelter house manager for years. My desire to be here is just as strong, if not stronger, than it was a year ago today! A few of you have asked me how I feel about my job, "now that the shine has worn off." Well, there have been days when I've come home and needed to be alone to process an experience or to come to terms with a mom's choice that I thought was wrong. There are days I've had my plans thrown out the window because someone had a crises of some kind (ER visits, moms in labor, emotional breakdowns, new moms arriving, families leaving unexpectedly, court appearances, bike's and wallets being stolen, kids going missing, earthquakes, power outages, etc, etc, etc). There have been days I've cried, I've felt my heart break, I've bee

Last week I had the experience of going to court for one of our moms. We will call her Nadia.  I was asked by our legal advocate to testify as to the character of Nadia and what she had been doing since she joined our program.  Her abuser laid some pretty heavy accusations against her and was petitioning for sole custody of their 17 month old daughter. Statue outside Cumberland School of Law called Justice and Mercy Having observed, counseled, and lived with Nadia for two months I felt comfortable speaking on her behalf. When she entered our shelter she had the appearance of a caged wild animal. She was wide-eyed, wound up, and terrified that her abuser would find her. As managers we had some very real concerns he would continue to pursue her as well. He showed up at her school and domestic violence class looking for her and contacted all her friends and family asking about her, even after the restraining order was served. Nadia weighed less than 100 pounds and smoked almost n

One of our moms decided to write down her thoughts and experiences since coming to The Sheepfold. I thought I would share with you what she had to say. This is in her own words. English is not her first language, so please be understanding of grammar and punctuation. (The following is used with permission. All names and indentifying information have been removed.) ********************************************* Being @ the Sheepfold The Sheepfold is a big blessing from GOD. When I and my daughter first came in here we were welcomed with true love. I remember when (House Manager) showed me my room. There was a small bag with lotion, body spray, and a welcome card that made me cry that there's good people in the world and it's not just on T.V. or movies. I've been going through a lot of emotional stress because of my big fear of the court dates. Every one of the house managers were ready to leave everything they are doing just to give me the time and hear me out.

It's been two months, but I'm back! It began with some soul searching. I asked God to reveal areas that I was fighting Him for control or had given up on, needs I was ignoring, desires and dreams I had thrown away because I saw no progress, stress triggers, why my sleep wasn't restful, why silence was something I tried to avoid, etc. Over the past two months I have been learning how to make time for respite. Respite means an " interval of relief ." It's the calm amidst the storm, the break between semesters, the good night's sleep after a long hard day, the cold glass of water after a walk through the desert, and the hug and loving words of a friend in a crisis. Taken from http://thoughtfulcaregiver.com/ This past season has been a difficult one for me at the shelter. A pregnant mom left us to return to her abuser which, even though I know statistically a woman leaves 7 times before it's for good, it was beyond my comprehension. How can someon

One thing we do exceptionally well here at The Sheepfold is a special occasion. Whether it's a birthday, baby shower, Thanksgiving, Christmas, or graduation, we go all out with the help of our wonderful supporters! I loved spending Christmas morning here and it will always be a treasured memory ( click here to read that story ). But Christmas has not been the only awesome day we've celebrated. You can't tell but there's 110 gifts under that tree! Today we threw a baby shower for one of our new moms. I will call her Naomi. I made her and her children's favorites: Ceviche Tostadas, barbecue ribs, horchata, and blue cupcakes. Naomi is having a boy so we went with a circus theme (all decorations and gifts were donations). We had favors, balloons, a cake, streamers, and LOTS of gifts. Naomi received some cute baby boy clothes in all different sizes, a new diaper bag, baby blankets, as well as some beauty supplies and satin pajama's for herself. She and the ot

I am coming to the tail end of my longest shift of the work week. I've been at the shelter since Wednesday afternoon and I will be leaving tomorrow (Friday) morning, after debriefing with the incoming manager. It's always a challenge for me because I start to loose energy around 3 or 4 pm on Thursday, long before bed time. :-) But today was a little different from the normal Thursday running around. This was for several reasons: 1) It's the last day of school and our kids are ecstatic. 2) I spent my morning attending an hour long Kindergarten graduation... I didn't know it was a thing, but it is, complete with diplomas, professional pictures, a slide show, flowers, gifts, etc. 3) A mom who has stayed with us almost a year is moving out (a stay is typically six months so this is unusual and also hard to say goodbye). 4) Our youngest baby of the house has HFMD (Hand Foot and Mouth Disease) 5) The mother of aforementioned baby is a new mom battling some pretty heavy anxie

A little while ago we had a new mom come to the shelter. She and her 5 year old son were homeless, with nothing to their names but a trash bag of clothes and an old kid's backpack. The son was happy, easy-going, and had a silver-toothed smile that lit up a room. I loved him instantly. His mom was a private person who was not accustomed to the structure and accountability The Sheepfold had. Her first night was especially difficult (which is common for most new families) and conversation around the dinner table was awkward. I tried to draw her into conversation, but didn't get anywhere. I wanted so badly to put her at ease, but nothing worked. When I'm working I try to make meal time engaging for the kids, keeping conversations light-hearted and requiring them to use their imaginations. I have so many great and hilarious memories of the crazy things that have come out of some of these kid's mouths. It's so ridiculously fun that sometimes I marvel at the fact that I

"What exactly do you do?" I get asked that question a lot and it's a complicated answer. Sometimes I feel like I would be able to answer more precisely if I could just list what I don't do! Fran, the founder of The Sheepfold, wrote a fantastic book called "The Sheepfold A Living Memorial to the Living God" which details the ministry as well as the beautiful and heart-wrenching story of Fran's life. I am going answer the above question in Fran's own words: Being a house manager requires so many skills. Every experience she has had in her lifetime will be used in her work. It is impossible to list the hundreds of little things that come up. In the shelter her day begins at 7am, cooking breakfast for 10 to 15 women and children... After supervising kitchen clean up, she teaches the daily Bible study, being sensitive to the spiritual needs of the residents who come from all different backgrounds. Then she oversees the housekeeping assignments gi

So I have not posted in awhile and there are a couple reasons for that. First, a lot has been happening in my life lately and in the lives of those who are near and dear to me. Some of these are good things, some bad, some confusing, and some that are just difficult. It's crazy how messy things get when when I'm striving to be genuine and vulnerable.  If there's no current conflict to work through in your life let me challenge you to ask yourself whether or not you are really willing to change. Wait, what did I just say? If you're looking for growth, then how you deal with conflict (within yourself or interpersonally) will show you a lot about where you need to focus. :-) Second, I want to make sure that I am not posting something just because I want to speak and be heard. I've mostly enjoyed this blog. There have been so many cool experiences over the past six months that I haven't shared yet! I don't think I'll run out of things to talk about for dec

This quote hangs on the wall at our shelter in the manager's office/bedroom. I find myself re-reading it several times a week. It has helped me gain perspective when I'm having a challenging moment with a mom. Maybe you will find it as personally motivating as I have. Enjoy! If you are devoted to the cause of humanity, you will soon be exhausted and have your heart broken by ingratitude. But if the mainspring of your service is love for Jesus, you can serve people although they treat you as a door-mat. Never look for justice in this world, but never cease to give it. - Oswald Chambers Please keep the house managers in your prayers this week. Especially that we will have discernment and wisdom. Thank you!

So I am in the middle of the longest break I've ever taken from the shelter. Nine consecutive days off feels very strange! I find myself thinking about the moms and kids several times a day and wondering what is happening while I am gone. Has there been conflict? Sickness? Growth? "Aha" moments? Will everyone still be there when I get back? Has anyone found a job? Started school? Has the baby started walking? Is the toddler finally talking? This "job" is so NOT a job to me. I love these people...really love them! It's overwhelming at times to realize just how much of my heart is wrapped up in the shelter. I remember the names and faces of the families who have left and I ache to know they are doing OK. I recently found out one of the moms who left us prematurely has gone back to her abuser along with her children. Ack!! It's so frustrating to hear things like this. The victim of domestic violence lives a complicated life and the process of moving on

So I couldn't get to sleep at a decent hour tonight. I had a persistent scratchy throat that resulted in a cough every few minutes which was just enough to keep me awake. I know, you're already asking yourself why I would bother with a post like this one. Especially considering it's still the middle of the night and I have to be up in less than 4 hours. Trust me, I have a point. Since I couldn't sleep I was keeping my mind occupied with a book (Desecration by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins). I was becoming frustrated because I was (am still) tired and I don't feel sick, just a scratchy throat. Around 1am I was still reading and coughing when the light on the bed stand went out. I tapped it and twisted it and it came back on so I finished reading my chapter, assuming there was a loose connection somewhere. Finally, I had enough and turned out the light to at least let my eyes rest. After a few minutes I remembered that there is a fantastic medicinal tea in the

...Many of you who know me know that for the past 15 years I've been interested in working with at-risk populations. I felt especially drawn to juvenile delinquents, foster children, and grieving children who've lost an immediate family member. I had many opportunities to volunteer within these groups; Comfort Zone Camp, AWANA, OC Youth Guidance Center, Juvenile Hall, Babysitting, Character First, Rancho Santa Marta Orphanage, YUGO Zapata, Guatemala City, Bernal, Mexico City, Singapore... to name a few of the memorable ones. :-) Yet for all the volunteer opportunities I still felt like I was missing out on something! I wanted more and I wanted it full-time. Although I had a full-time job that was challenging I looked forward to my volunteer night and weekend jobs to carry me through the everyday 9-5. I do not regret my time spent in a cubicle, especially now that it seems it's already been ages ago! But it was disappointing to search and search for a full-time job in my

Do you know what an Ebenezer is? George C. Scott as Ebenezer Scrooge Take note, I said what not who ! Don't go Dickens on me just yet. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary the word Ebenezer means, "a commemoration of divine assistance." The word originates from the Biblical Samuel (1 Sam. 7:12) who erected a stone to remind the people of God's deliverance of the Israelites from the Philistines. Samuel knew human nature well. We have a tendency to forget former miraculous moments when we come up against a problem that we see no solution to. We, or should I say I, have a natural inclination to take ownership of all my successes and blame God and others for things I see as failures. This is who I am and this tendency is exactly why I'm glad to have started this blog. Somewhere between October and today this blog became my Ebenezer. It is a way of recognizing the working of The Divine in my life (and the lives around me) and provides a place for me to