Time Off

So I am in the middle of the longest break I've ever taken from the shelter. Nine consecutive days off feels very strange! I find myself thinking about the moms and kids several times a day and wondering what is happening while I am gone. Has there been conflict? Sickness? Growth? "Aha" moments? Will everyone still be there when I get back? Has anyone found a job? Started school? Has the baby started walking? Is the toddler finally talking?

This "job" is so NOT a job to me. I love these people...really love them! It's overwhelming at times to realize just how much of my heart is wrapped up in the shelter. I remember the names and faces of the families who have left and I ache to know they are doing OK. I recently found out one of the moms who left us prematurely has gone back to her abuser along with her children. Ack!! It's so frustrating to hear things like this.

The victim of domestic violence lives a complicated life and the process of moving on and letting go is hard. The average abused woman will leave her abuser 7 times before it's for good. Isn't that hard to fathom? When someone comes to us we don't know if this is her seventh, first, or twenty-seventh time. All we can do is provide safety, love, support, instruction, and a whole lot of prayer. It's up to the mom to choose her path. I can't fix her or make the decisions for her. This is something I have to keep reminding myself of.




This break has been good for me. So far I have refrained from checking in on anyone to see how they're doing. I'm beginning to work on my boundaries and priorities. I am trying to find a balance between helping others grow and taking ownership of my own growth. I can't teach something and not be applying it to my own life. Hypocrisy is my most despised character trait that I want to avoid like the plague. I also need to work on taking time to stay connected to my friends and family. It's easy for me to become consumed by life at the shelter, but I need to take time to be filled back up so that I will have the ability to keep pouring myself out. :-)

So if you are one of the people who hasn't seen me in awhile please bear with me. I appreciate the occasional invites to catch up and if it hasn't worked out yet, please keep trying! I will do my best to make it happen.

I'm working on it.

Comments

  1. UnknownFebruary 29, 2012 at 8:46 AM

    Love reading your blog, too. :) We should do a walk and talk soon.

    ReplyDelete
  2. KarlFebruary 29, 2012 at 10:44 PM

    It's nice to know I'm not the only one who struggles with the concept of "checking in" while on weekends or vacation. Although I choose to prevent the hypocrisy feeling by just not recommending to others that they not check in. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. iamwindandfireMarch 1, 2012 at 2:08 PM

    Really enjoy your blogs JJ....its helpful to receive the insight into the "abuse" cycle. Blessings as you "fill up" :-)

    ReplyDelete

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