Forget Me Not: A Mom's Perspective
Ironically, a couple weeks after my last post "Goodbyes," I experienced my most difficult goodbye yet. The grief knocked me off my feet and onto my knees crying out to God. My heart is still aching from it. Sometimes the process of letting go and allowing God to mend a broken heart can take awhile...especially because I have a tendency to work over the past in my mind as if I can change history. Silly Me.
I don't really feel like relaying the events of the last goodbye. Maybe at a later date it will come up, but not yet. Forgive me? In the mean time I am re-reading my last post because I need the reminder that God is the mender of all things broken.
A little while ago two of our moms made us a beautiful scrapbook that they filled with pictures of them and their children as well as notes of things they were grateful for. It is so precious to each of my fellow house managers, especially after an emotionally difficult week. I am going to share with you one of the notes from the book that was like a balm to my heart, mind, and soul today. But before I do that I want to remind you what I wrote in my last post:
I am not the one that brought these moms to The Sheepfold.
I am not the one who is pursuing them with an unfathomable depth of love and grace.
I am not the one who sees and understands the future.
I am not the one who brings about healing.
I am not the one who can change hearts.
I am not the one who makes all things new.
I am not the one who heals.
I am not. But He is.
Enjoy!
Dearest Pam, Lori, & JJ,
What can I say to express my gratitude? I just can't seem to put it into words. I watch you three Incredible Women give up big parts of your lives to do "a job." You always seem to be at your best, giving 110% and sometimes more. You laugh with us, you cry with us, you play with our children and care for them and us mommies as if we were your own. Never before have I met such dignified and beautiful women. You guys are an inspiration, I could only hope to one day have the courage, strength, faith, and heart that I have seen in you women.
I see you do your job and realize now you're where God appointed you, there simply is no other explanation. You are messengers of God and you do your job well. I am fortunate to have been placed here at The Sheepfold. Before coming to The Sheepfold I had no faith and no hope. I couldn't see why God was keeping me alive. I had so many opportunities to die so I saw it was Him. He kept me alive and here and gave me these beautiful children. I didn't know how to care for them or what to do. They seemed so perfect and so well put together and I was just so not perfect. In fact, my life was a total mess and my heart was torn up and scared in the deepest most sacred places. I felt there was nothing left of me, if there ever was a me. I knew God made mistakes because He made me. I began to seek Him out because my grandmother told me my children were a gift from God. I decided I was going to return them to God so He could re-read the name tag because I was just not good enough for a gift from God.
Not knowing where else to go I got here to The Sheepfold. I have only been here a short time, but I see hope. I have faith in God and because of that faith I also have faith in myself and my children. I feel at peace for the first time ever and I know God loves me.
Thank you and The Sheepfold for all that you do and all that you give.
Sincerely,
(A mom)
I don't really feel like relaying the events of the last goodbye. Maybe at a later date it will come up, but not yet. Forgive me? In the mean time I am re-reading my last post because I need the reminder that God is the mender of all things broken.
A little while ago two of our moms made us a beautiful scrapbook that they filled with pictures of them and their children as well as notes of things they were grateful for. It is so precious to each of my fellow house managers, especially after an emotionally difficult week. I am going to share with you one of the notes from the book that was like a balm to my heart, mind, and soul today. But before I do that I want to remind you what I wrote in my last post:
I am not the one that brought these moms to The Sheepfold.
I am not the one who is pursuing them with an unfathomable depth of love and grace.
I am not the one who sees and understands the future.
I am not the one who brings about healing.
I am not the one who can change hearts.
I am not the one who makes all things new.
I am not the one who heals.
I am not. But He is.
Enjoy!
 |
| This mom decided to be baptized as an outward sign of her inward change while with us |
Dearest Pam, Lori, & JJ,
What can I say to express my gratitude? I just can't seem to put it into words. I watch you three Incredible Women give up big parts of your lives to do "a job." You always seem to be at your best, giving 110% and sometimes more. You laugh with us, you cry with us, you play with our children and care for them and us mommies as if we were your own. Never before have I met such dignified and beautiful women. You guys are an inspiration, I could only hope to one day have the courage, strength, faith, and heart that I have seen in you women.
I see you do your job and realize now you're where God appointed you, there simply is no other explanation. You are messengers of God and you do your job well. I am fortunate to have been placed here at The Sheepfold. Before coming to The Sheepfold I had no faith and no hope. I couldn't see why God was keeping me alive. I had so many opportunities to die so I saw it was Him. He kept me alive and here and gave me these beautiful children. I didn't know how to care for them or what to do. They seemed so perfect and so well put together and I was just so not perfect. In fact, my life was a total mess and my heart was torn up and scared in the deepest most sacred places. I felt there was nothing left of me, if there ever was a me. I knew God made mistakes because He made me. I began to seek Him out because my grandmother told me my children were a gift from God. I decided I was going to return them to God so He could re-read the name tag because I was just not good enough for a gift from God.
Not knowing where else to go I got here to The Sheepfold. I have only been here a short time, but I see hope. I have faith in God and because of that faith I also have faith in myself and my children. I feel at peace for the first time ever and I know God loves me.
Thank you and The Sheepfold for all that you do and all that you give.
Sincerely,
(A mom)
The Lord is near to those who are discouraged;
he saves those who have lost all hope.
-Psalm 34:18
AMEN!!!
Beautiful post JJ <3 May God continue to restore and heal the broken.
ReplyDeleteYou are doing an amazing job planting seeds! I can't imagine how hard it must be, but I sure love reading about your experiences! I'm just sorry it has to be so hard.
ReplyDelete